Random Thoughts

As I go through my days, I often think about things that I should write about in my blog.  I even create a narrative in my head of what I will write and how I would write it.  Then I get busy and of course forget the narrative.  The good part of that is the fact that I have lots of things going on in my life so I am busy living and doing fun things.  The bad part is that the few of you who read this blog don't get to hear about my awesome life. Ha ha ha! 

I don't want to make this blog all about my ex-boyfriend but there are times that I have thoughts and it helps me to get it out.  Since he was such an important part of my life for so long, I think it's natural to reflect on things at times.  It just sucks that his betrayal shed such a dark shadow on so many of my memories.  These memories hit me at different times and tonight it was as simple as a race shirt from a run that we did in Connecticut.  It was on July 22, 2012 which was actually after I found out that he had been lying to me and had been dating several other women.  I found out all of that on April 28, 2012 the day before Sean's Run in Chatham. Funny how it all revolves around a run. Anyway, he bared his sole and promised to get counseling and we even went to church together.  We were spending time together again and I guess we were trying to work things out again.  I distinctly remember him going to the car to move it.  Now that I think about it there was no real reason for him to move the car.  I remember going back to the car after the people in charge of the race had found an additional shirt for me so I went to bring it back to the car.  All I can think of now is that he was calling one of his girlfriends to "check in." This is what he did all the time while he was with one of us.  He was never really fully with you.  There was always someone else.  This is what I think about now when I remember our time together.  It's sad and disheartening.  Even when times were bad between us, I thought that we were going to be together.  It isn't as heartbreaking anymore but it's still hurtful to think that someone that you loved with all of your heart could have such total disregard for you.

On the positive side of things (because you know I always am. LOL) I have really moved forward with things in my life.  He was not able to break me or to break my spirit.  I've been doing volunteer work for an organization called Jazzy Sun Birthdays and Maddie's Mark of course.  We'll be planning a fall festival on Sunday, October 27th from 1-4 pm.  I'm also working on an event for Huntington's Disease Society and we are going to do a 5K or 10K or a combo next year.  Maybe I'll actually direct my first race!  I don't know how involved they will want me to be but they seem to think that I know a lot. LOL.  I've been volunteering occasionally at race events as well.  Most recently I volunteered at Saratoga Palio Half marathon.  I volunteer when I don't actually feel like running the race.  I have to get myself geared up again for running distance since I have the Hudson Mohawk Half Marathon next month. Yikes!  I ran my 18.12 run and then lost my umph! I'm hoping I can get it back soon since I don't have much time left! 

OK - That post was pretty disjointed and hurried and I apologize but it's a start! :)